awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
