There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
