There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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