All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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