He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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