he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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