The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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