I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
