Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
