We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
