My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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