i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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