Fuck appropriateness.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
