Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
