Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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