you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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