He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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