why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
