VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
