Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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