First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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