Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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