your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
