I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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