i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
