Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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