im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
