The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
