maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
