You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
