a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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