it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
