Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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