I've blown a few things in my day
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
