As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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