Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
