My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
