I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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