I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
