To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
