Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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