im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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