Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
