I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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