Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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