I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
