my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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