Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
