Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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