I'm lost and stupid without you.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Where is the hickey?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize