You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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