sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
