Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
