I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
