we have pet lesbian snakes
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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