I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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