HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
