they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My vagina just recognized that song.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
