i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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