i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
