It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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