walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
