this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
