NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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