That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize