Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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